ミッド・ライフ・クライシスの諸兄に捧げるブルース
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幸せな結婚生活の秘密は、まだ秘密裏に隠されたままだ。
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -- Henｒy Youngman
言い争いの後で女房が言った、私はアンタと結婚して馬鹿だったわ！
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
亭主がそれに答えた、俺もお前に夢中になっていた時は何も見えなかったよ
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
パーティーでの女性同士の会話
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
ねえ、あなたの結婚指輪、指を間違えてるんじゃないの？？
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
それに答えて、結婚相手を間違ってしまったからよ。
The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
三行広告： 求む！ワイフ
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
翌日、何本もの電話がかかってきた。
Next day he received a hundred letters.
だけど、そのどれもの電話が男性から、、、、、？？？ その内容たるや、、、"我が家のをどうぞ"
They all said "You can have mine."
女房をねとられてしまった時の復讐
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
連れ戻そうとしないこと
結婚とは、感性が理性に勝ること
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
再婚とは、希望が経験に勝ること
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
女房を失うということは大変なことだ
Losing a wife can be hard.
僕の場合なんて、ほとんど不可能にちかいからね
In my case, it was almost impossible.
俺なんてうちの女房ともう二年近くも口をきいてないんだ
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
-だって、彼女の邪魔をしたくないからね。
I don't like to interrupt her.
彼女が、もっと愛情を示せって言うもんだから、
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
今ではもう一人の女の子とつきあってるんだ。
結婚の定義： これ以上値のはる洗濯代はない。
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
あいつ、自分の女房のクレジット･カードが盗まれたっていうのに、警察には届けないらしい、、、、、。
A man said his wife's credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
何で？ 盗人は、あいつの女房ほど金遣いが荒くないそうだ。
絶対に忘れない女房の誕生日を思い出し方：
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
一度だけ忘れる事
一人の男が自慢げに言った： 俺の女房は天使だ！
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
もう一人の男が言った： ああ羨まし、うちのはまだ生きてるよ。
女房なんて何だ！ジョーク集
たった今受信した、とりたてホヤホヤの女房コケ降ろし集です。
ザマー見ろ！
At 12:18 98/07/29 +0000, you wrote:
> FWD>FW: Hilarious- If a guy 7/29/98 1:50 PM
>
>
>
> --------------------------------------
> These are pretty funny. No wonder I'm single.
> =======================================================================
>
> >X-Sender: jspiliot@diablo.cisco.com
> >Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1998 09:51:53 -0600
> >To: jkadison@bmcny.com (Julia Kadison)
> >From: John Spiliotis
> >Subject: FW: Hilarious- If a guy
> >X-UIDL: 2f291648610e504a56bbc7222679b808
> >
> >I thought you'd like this...John
> >
> >
> >How many men does it take to open a beer?
> --None. It should be opened by the time she brings it
>
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> --Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be
> able to support you.
>
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> --So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
>
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> --You don't. There's a clock on the oven!
>
>
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first?
> --The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
>
> All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them
> apart.
>
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> --A woman that won't do what she's told.
>
> What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
> --Pregnant.
>
> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her
>
> What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
> --Divorced.
>
> Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex
> drive by 90%...wedding cake
>
> Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and
> suffering.
>
> >>>>
> >>>
> >>
> >
> >
>
>
> --------
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> by amsterdam.interport.net (8.8.5/8.8.5) with SMTP id NAA22217;
> Wed, 29 Jul 1998 13:50:57 -0400 (EDT)
> Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1998 13:50:57 -0400 (EDT)
> Message-Id: <199807291750.NAA22217@amsterdam.interport.net>
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> To: odonnell@cliffhanger.com, rick_cooper@prenhall.com, gcornick@erols.com,
> rxcp64c@prodigy.com, mpng@unistudios.com, geubanks@surferpubs.com,
> Optimism1@aol.com
> From: jkadison@bmcny.com (Julia Kadison)
> Subject: FW: Hilarious- If a guy
>
ご意見･ご感想
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